"Never Existed" by Rachel Bowers
I long for a her who never existed
Similar in many ways to the woman who loves me
But modified in one small vital way
She needs me the way I needed her
Her arms ache for me, her lips hunger for mine
Her fingers find their way to my scalp
Absent mindedly stroking my hair
Because something deep inside
Beneath her conscious mind
Seeks connection with me
The way my deepness pulls me to her
But that her was never real
Do I parch my throat, ever walking by an oasis
Knowing its waters will never call to me
Or do I step back out into the desert
Hoping to find a spring that is seeking me
Image Description: A woman turns her head so fast that her short, dark hair whirls around her head. She is visible from behind, has light skin, and is wearing a tank top.
Credit: Lany-Jade Mondou / Pexels
About the Poet
Rachel Bowers is a disabled and queer poet and fiction writer. She started writing poetry to process the complex emotions caused by the death of her first love. Rachel writes stories about the intersection of love and fear. She is also the 13 times grandniece of Shakespeare.
Image Description: Rachel Bowers looks into the camera with a soft smile. She is framed from the chest up and wearing a dark, plunging v-neck. She has red glasses and shoulder-length, strawberry-blonde hair. She is White with a rosy complexion.
Credit: c/o Rachel Bowers
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