"The Beauty and the Beast" by Roj is a poem that explores gender, attraction, family, abandonment, and innocence through an LGBTQ+ lens.
This poem was originally posted to Wattpad.
*Content Warning: LGBTQ+ trauma, fear of abandonment, swearing
"The Beauty and the Beast"
by Roj
I sit by the window, watching you from across the room
The way you smile, the way you speak, it all makes me feel something
I don't know what, but it does
Like in movies, when they feel butterflies,
Like a gut feeling building in my stomach
The way you move, your charm
And I hear my heartbeat in my ears
I don't know if I'm supposed to feel that way
You're a girl, the center of the universe, the girl
And I am...
No one,
A weirdo
My friends say they find boys handsome
I don't know what's special in them
But I think of your voice at night
It rings in my mind like a melody
I could stay up all night listening to it
There must be something wrong with me?
And every time you say you like a boy
Why do I feel like I wanna cry?
I know, I know you're not the type to date them
But why can't I be an option for you?
Why can't I be an option for anyone?
Why can't I just be normal?
I discovered a new word yesterday
This boy, after I rejected him, called me gay
Is that what I am then? An insult?
You're a girl and I am... a girl?
Then... It's not real?
Image Description: A pale rainbow runs along the right side of the photo, across grey pavement.
Credit:
Jhefferson Santos / Pexels
I'm not real,
I must be sick
This must be a disease
Help me pick
Mom, I think I'm sick
Please save me
They said I'm a sinner
But I haven't done anything wrong, Mom, have I?
It can be cured, right?
Mom, you can find me a prince
To cure it, right?
Mom...?
Mom, where are you going?
You won't leave me, right?
I'm not a sinner, Mom?
You won't leave me, right?
Right?
Mom?
I look in the mirror,
Now I'm unrecognisable,
The voice of my loved ones,
It's unbearable
"You chose to sin"
"You're a sinner"
"You'll go to hell!"
"You're sick!"
"Go to the asylum!"
But... all I did was... be born?
I can't... stop feeling this way
I turn to my side, I look at you
"You're disgusting!"
"I should have known how pathetic you are."
So am I... really... a monster?
Am I the villain here?
Should I have lied?
Lost in this atmosphere,
Should I have died?
And your beautiful face passes across me
But I'm not brave enough to look at you
I'm a disgusting freak, a worthless sinner
I destroyed the family
I'm lustful, I'm horrific
I'm selfish, I don't give a shit
I'm no better than a man
I was wrong for being born, for existing and loving
I'm the devil on this planet, came here to have a feast
You're innocent, lovable, not meant to be destroyed by my sinful gaze
Cause you're the beauty and I'm the fucking beast.
From the Author
Roj (they/he/she)
I am a non-native English writer who writes different genres focusing on deeper, sensitive topics, all centered around Queer media. The poems and stories I've written all represent my own personal struggles in life which may be the life of many others unacknowledged. But while they're forced to keep their mouths shut, I mean to thrive in his own coping mechanism and speak out for them.
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