A poem by Laura Browne-Lambert, "Mantra" discusses the inherent ableism in the cultural expectation to never waste a second of time on something mundane, to always be working, adventuring, and creating. As a disabled artist and writer, Browne-Lambert often struggles to allow herself to rest and recover between activities. Inevitably, her body forces her to rest when it is unable to keep up with the demands placed on it. Her poem is a message to herself and others like her that rest is productive in its own way by allowing you to be rejuvenated.

Image Description: A field of sunflowers. Leafy, green stems are topped by sunny, yellow petals that rim fuzzy brown centers.
Credit: Nataly Alhimova / Unsplash via Webador
Mantra
by Laura Browne-Lambert
“Life is short,” they say.
“Best not waste it,”
becomes a mantra, a code, a culture –
as if just anyone can live this way.
The harder I push,
the more my body fights,
sending me deep down
into myself,
into a place from which
I can’t force my way out.
Everyday is a fight over these words,
A fight to live life
regardless of the aftermath,
a fight to conquer consequence.
Then follows a battle
to absolve myself
of the obligation
to live life large.
Sometimes, just surviving
is all I can do.
I like to pretend
that’s not true –
that my body hasn’t changed,
but then – inevitably –
it reminds me
that in order to live
I must, first, survive.
I’m still learning
how to understand
my body –
its quirks and its capacities,
the ups and downs
and the hard left turns
which I never seem to foresee.
No one ever told me
living requires rest.
This is a lesson my body
has taught me
through aches and pains,
tremors, seizures, and meltdowns.
My body has taught me
that rest isn’t wasteful
because rest gives me
the strength to live.
Contrary to our culture,
my disabled body isn’t
wasting anything.
Life may be short,
but - at least -
rest lets me live.

About the Author
Laura Browne-Lambert is a queer, neurodivergent, and chronically ill writer whose writing emphasizes the characters, identities, and experiences she missed out on in her youth. She lives in Boston, MA and enjoys gardening, painting, and finding new science fiction or fantasy stories to enjoy. She is also the creator of the Underground Bookshelf and has a few books of her own available at the links here: About | Underground Bookshelf
Image Description: Laura Browne-Lambert, a white woman with windblown shoulder length, dark-brown hair. She wears rose-tinted lenses with black frames. Seated on a sandy beach, she wears black dress pants, a black, leather jacket, and a blue-plaid shirt. Her black cane leans against the concrete retaining wall behind her.
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